Beta's blog

I peed on the couch again!

Dan's brother David was here for the weekend so Dan spent a lot of money to get the cushions restuffed because they smelled like my pee. He also got them professionally drycleaned. They only stayed pee-free for four days! David and Dan took me for a long walk earlier that afternoon but I didn't pee then. I decided not to pee until we got home, and Dan wasn't looking.

A short history of my pees

The first time I peed on the couch, Dan and Kathryn were hanging out upstairs, and I snuck downstairs to pee in secret. I came running back up the stairs after I was done! They didn't find out until a while later! They poured lots of Nature's miracle on the stain. Luckily, it was on a single cushion and Kathryn tried to get the smell out.

The second time I peed on the couch it was while Kathryn and I were doing obedience training. I was jumping on and off the couch and I had to go, so I just started going.

Then Dan had two guys with a scary machine come over and vacuum and steamclean the whole thing! They took a long time to do it and Dan wrote out a big check for their work. They cleaned it really good but it still smelled like pee.

The next time I peed on the couch was when Meg and Matt 5500 were visiting! I was so excited! I ran downstairs and I had water on my leg. Matt felt the water spray and said that I might have had an accident. When Dan went to grab me, I struggled. Kathryn tried to grab my legs and I peed out of fear, while lying on my back, all over a pillow and the couch cushions. I also got some pee on Meg's cookbooks!

Up until now, I only peed on the cushions, which Dan and Kathryn could try to pour lots of Nature's Miracle on them, and get professionally cleaned. Now, I've peed on the only part of the couch which is permanently afixed. They can't clean it up, so they have to throw away the whole couch and get a new one, after Dan spent several hundred dollars trying to clean up the pee smell.

I'm a bad doggie.

How well do you know your next-door neighbors?

There's Harvey in 3A. He's a beagle! Harvey just moved in about a month ago and is still getting used to the city. He barks and howls a lot! I think he is nice and curious, but sometimes he gets worked up over a delivery guy or strange noise, and then I start to grumble too. Harvey likes Kathryn a lot, though, and enjoys sniffing feet.

Then there's Rocco down the hall. I don't like Rocco at all! He's an English bulldog and barks whenever I am in the hallway. He's way bigger than me and built like a tank, and lumbers along whenever he's walking around. His owner says he's one of those dogs that sleeps all day. Dan and Kathryn think Rocco is great and has a very distinctive personality but I don't see what the big deal is. Rocco sucks!

Cooper the pug used to live in our unit, but now he lives downstairs on the 2nd floor. He's really jumpy! Cooper likes to jump up onto people. He used to annoy me a lot, but then I got to know him, and now I like him. We used to play a lot on the sidewalk when Kathryn would walk me in the middle of the afternoon since his dog walker would always come around at the same time. Now I don't get to see him as much, but whenever I do, I want to play! Too bad he's always busy.

There's also Rupert, I don't know what kind of dog he is, but he's gangly and barky, and he always takes the stairs so I don't know a lot about him.

Masterpee

Today I went into Happy Paws for my pre-entry examination. Dan and Kathryn are going to put me into doggy daycare and boarding during the week they've back in Milwaukee for Jeff and Mary's wedding. I miss doggy daycare! Happy Paws is full of playful other doggies who are jumping around and I wanted to play with them too. Kathryn went to watch some of the other doggies running around and playing through the glass window while Dan filled out my paperwork.

But guess what? When Kathryn wasn't looking I decided to pee! I peed and got on her sandals. I peed so much that I filled up the entire hallway with pee, a four foot by four foot square puddle. There was pee all over, and I sat in it, too. Kathryn yelled and called me naughty and a bad dog, but I didn't understand! I kept wagging my tail even when the adults were yelling at me. The nice man at Happy Paws came and mopped it up. He was impressed with the amount of pee and asked if I liked to hold it. (Which I do! I like holding it. I can hold it up for over 48 hours.)

Then Kathryn gave me a bath. And I ate a banana.

I sorry, Kathryn. I like to pee.

P1070864

Zzzzzz...

I don't know. I'm a dog.

Meow Beta

I like sitting on the couch like a cat. I just discovered about a week ago that I can jump up to the top of the couch and splay my legs over the side. When I'm at this vantage point I can more easily look out the window and make sure no invading armies are arriving from across the street. (My barking will keep them away if they try to get all up in my grill! ) I can also make sure Kathryn's not looking at other doggies on the internets. And if I twist my head and look up, I can see what Dan's doing at his home office. I usually spend some time watching the people walk by on the sidewalk below, then i put my head down and sigh really loudly, like the humans don't love me.

Then Kathryn pays attention to me again, and I try to get back up. It's really tricky, and sometimes I lose my grip on the sofa cushions, so I have to jump down, and jump back up. For some reason, Kathryn loses it whenever I do it, and laughs at me. It's mean!

My favorite meal in the world is breakfast. I can't sprint down the stairs fast enough when Dan or Kathryn calls out, "Beta! Breakfast!" Sometimes I fall and hurt myself, I'm so eager to run down to the kitchen. And when Kathryn is climbing back up the stairs, I race into my crate, ready for some grub. I especially love it when they mix in some wheat germ and yogurt. (Or banana! I love nanners.)

Lately, though, I haven't been finishing my breakfast. Dan and Kathryn close the crate door on me, and I only eat about one third of my bowl of kibble before I start crying. Then they look inside my crate and surprise! I'm not done with my breakfast! I'm sitting on the floor of my crate, looking sad, whining to be let out. Then when they open the door, I get out of the crate, and then I run right back inside. I'll only eat with the door open! If they close the door, I sit down and start to cry after a while. And as soon as they open the door again, I start eating! Sometimes I'll only eat standing halfway through the crate, with my butt sticking out.

I do this over and over again until it drives them insane! Ha ha! They'll never learn!

aww, darn

Vox says I'm too young, but I'm 14 in dog years. *whine*